When Will I Miss You?
by Yamia Ishtar
Summary: All I wanted was to get you back. Why did it come to this?


Yamia: I finally did it. I wrote a NiGHTS fanfic. I'm…so proud…*sniff*

Anyway, this fanfic was written for Reala Day at nightsintodreams .com. For those of you not in the know, Reala Day is April 1st. A fellow Reala fan(Maresuke!) discovered NiGHTS dressed up as Reala(Christmas NiGHTS into Dreams…) every April 1st. So she celebrates it as Reala Day, by dressing up in red and black, making Reala cookies(mmm…), etc. So she's holding a Reala Day contest, letting people enter whatever Reala themed idea they can think up for an awesome-sauce prize. This is my entry for that contest.

I _was_ writing another NiGHTS fanfic before this one, so I hope this little one shot will inspire more ideas for my other ficcy.

Alas, I bet you heard enough of me, so on with the fic!

_Warnings_: Mentions of beatings, imprisonment, sad memories, almost making someone cry when they read this(im serious), un…

_Disclaimer_: I don't own NiGHTS. I wish I did. The lucky bastards over at Sonic Team own him…*sob*

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When Will I Miss You?

By Yamia Ishtar

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Everyday, ever since that incident, I wonder…am I really better off without you?

You're my only brother, the only person I could turn to when I really needed you. The only person who was ever there for me, when our other siblings were busy thinking of themselves. You also look just like me, so how can we not be wholly connected?

The day you defaulted, and Master Wizeman locked you in that palace, it felt like my world had suddenly stopped. It felt like apart of me was locked away with you. I tried so many times to free you, and so many times I was beaten and imprisoned because of you. I've had my very consciousness threatened to be replaced many times. Master Wizeman actually went through with it once, until he dropped it, fearing creating another Jackle. So my old conscious, all of my old memories of you, were returned to me.

Unfortunately, because of all those things being returned to me, I was forced into solitary confinement, until my "loyalty" to Wizeman returned and my sanity was back to normal. Back to the cold, calculating general of Nightmare.

During my confinement, during the time my mental stability was still off from having my conscious being returned to me, I had grown to dislike you. I thought, the only reason I'm in here, alone and half-way out of my mind, was because of you. You made me want to save you. You made me go through all that torture.

But, what was left of my rational mind, knew you weren't the cause of my confinement. It was my own fault. I knew you were only there for fifty years, I could've waited. But for some reason, something was telling me to go get my twin, my other half, back. By any means necessary. But I didn't listen to that rational side back then. I now realize that I should have. But spending so many months alone, with so many conflicting thoughts and emotions…it was hard not to grow to hate you.

_'How did you manage do it, dear brother? With only your thoughts and that dreadful Ideya to keep you company, how did you not go mad?'_

But I retained my sanity. I pledged my undying loyalty to Master Wizeman, but it killed me inside. Pledging my loyalty to our master again meant renouncing my loyalty to you. I couldn't do it. But he threatened to kill you if I didn't say it. Seeing you dead was worse than seeing you with a different personality. So…I cut my bonds with you that day, but I prayed everyday that you would forgive your selfish brother.

I still hated you, but I still loved you too. But I didn't know if I should allow myself to miss you. It confused me to no end. I think the day that all changed was when you escaped that palace. You had tricked those Visitors into freeing you. I thought you would return to me, so we could both leaved this dreadful place together. Instead you flew off with them, forgetting all about me.

I hated you so much then. I thought, I'll bring you back to Master Wizeman and have him give you a new conscious. I wouldn't have minded molding you into a new brother.

_'How foolish I was back then…' _

I remember what I said to you when we finally met each other for the first time in two years. "There is no NiGHTS!". I don't remember if I meant it or not. I guess I did back then.

_'But, how did it make you feel, hearing those words come from your own kin? Someone who looked just like you? I regret it now, for I don't know if I hurt you with those words or not…'_

So…do I miss you? Now that we're at least talking to each other, albeit on unfriendly terms. Do you miss me? Have you ever missed me, since that incident?

I guess only time will tell when our relationship will ever be repaired. I want it to be, even though a part of me still despises you for some reason. Do you wish to be my brother again?

NiGHTS, how will you react when we see each other again? I don't even know how I will react.

Our lives have been one huge journey, Let's see how it will all end.

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Yamia: Tada! I like this fanfic. And yeah, in the warning I said I made someone cry reading this fic. She wanted to read what I was writing, so she did, and started crying a bit. I swear I didn't mean to make anyone cry, but…eh. Lol.

Oh yeah, the parts of the fanfic in italics, are Reala's sincere thoughts about NiGHTS, since at the time, they we're going through the same thing. I thought it didn't really match in the fanfic, so that's why I put it in italics.

Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the fic! Please don't forget to review and happy Reala Day!


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